Semper Fidelis

2007 is coming to an end. Another few hours and we will be in a new year. What 2008 has in store, nobody can predict, it is something that only time will tell. However, basing my prediction on what happened in 2007, I guess it is safe to assume that 2008 will be an exciting year.

The year gone by has been a good one. Many things happened, some for the very first time. I got involved in a million different things, met people from all walks of life, experienced various different dimensions and enjoyed it all big time.

As always, there are way too many memories clouding my mind - some good, some bad, some delightfully beautiful while some downright atrocious.

I also met lots of nice people and some not so nice people. Some of them became a part of my life while the others blurred into obscurity.

2007 came with a lot many surprises. The biggest surprise has been the phase shift in my life. Change is good and I truely believe that nothing is permanent except change.

As I log out from 2007, here's wishing everybody reading this blog the very best in their lives. Go people, go touch the sky with glory. There is nothing impossible in this world. Dream, execute and reach your destination.

Semper Fidelis!

The "T" Factor

Tanya called up in the morning, way too early in the morning - 0330 Hrs. She pulled me out of the cozy comfort of my warm blanket. 0350 Hrs saw me standing on the main road, waiting for her to pick me up.

It was freezing cold today morning with a big fog cover hogging the ground. A cold wind was blowing through the trees and thank God for the MES, the street lights were all working. Seems like the AGE (E&M) has pulled up his boys before the New Year.

Tanya had got her car & the moment I entered it, a high db blast of Jim Morrison hit me. Nothing could have been better than hearing The Doors sing Light My Fire on such a cold, wintry morning. Something was amiss, Tanya listening to The Doors and not Led Zeppelin and that too so early in the morning was a bit strange. But then, I have never been able to understand her quirky nature. She is as crazy as it gets!

It was still pitch dark though the MES lights were throwing up haunted shadows through the fog cover. Tanya didn't tell me where we were headed, she just kept on in her sing-along voice. I was mighty pleased that she'd got some eatables and that quintessential of all fauji drinks - Rum and garam paani. If you haven't tried this combination, then do try it out. The Olive Greens, the Snow Whites and the Mighty Blues swear by this heavenly concoction!

We criss-crossed the Cantonment, through a few back roads which I'd never been to before and traveled up the nearby mountains. I heard the sound of booming guns and gave a quizzical look to Tanya. She just shrugged it off and lit up her saviour - Mr Gordon Light aka Gudan Garam. Now that was a heady mix of Mr Old Monk and Mr Gordon Light. Intensity personified.

After traveling a lot of clicks, we finally stopped at the foothills of the mountain. We got down the car and started climbing up through the dirt track that lead to the top. We took about half an hour to climb all the way to the top. Mr Gordon Light was firmly entrenched in her fingers and Tanya made a very dramatic pose on the hilltop.

The first rays of light had started showing up. The entire space was still dark but there was the faint eerie outline of dawn that I find really groovy.

I suddenly realised that we were not alone. There was that distant booming of gunfire yet again though I couldn't locate it with my eyes. Suddenly, Tanya tugged at my arms and directed my sight towards the NW. There, many clicks away, I saw the darkness getting pierced by tongues of flame.

We were on a hilltop, overlooking the Long Range and those orange-red coloured flames were coming out from the barrels of heated up guns. The chaps were doing their zeroing-in and calibration before their move to their KLP for the next few months.

2007 couldn't have ended on a better note. I was on a mountaintop with Tanya - my buddy, my closest friend, co-conspirator and accomplice in many crimes, enjoying a cold wintry morning and towering flames of lights piercing the darkness of the dawn. It was just the both of us out there and the AAD chaps at the Long Range. It was a very magical moment, something that I will always cherish for the rest of my life.

I don't need to say this but for the record, thanks Tanya for your crazy eccentricities! I would love to see you take the Point on our next expedition in Feb 2008.

N.B. - For all those wondering as to why I have put up this picture over here, well, the reason is known to those who know the reason well. LOL!

Aksshe Shatrun Jahi.

Signals - The Nervecentre of Warfare

Control of the battle has always been the concern of commanders down the ages and whoever could exert better control over his own forces and impress his will on his men won. When the armies were small and the distances relatively small, messengers on foot or on horseback sufficed. However, as the battlefields stretched out and the size of the armies increased, such means no longer sufficed. The coming of the artillery also underscored the importance of communications. Necessity being the mother of invention, such changes in the battlefield drove the evolution of the Signals and gave the Corps its unique place in the armies the world over. Signals are essentially the nerves of the Army. The Generals, being the brains of the Army, receive inputs from the troops in contact and from other sources through the Signals. These inputs are processed at the headquarters and converted into action plans. It again falls on the Signals to convey these operational plans to the troops who are to execute them. Feedback on execution gets conveyed back and the battle progresses. It is therefore obvious that the Signals are intimately intertwined in all aspects of the functioning of the army both in war and in peace and are present at all levels and at all places.

Army Radio Engineered Network (AREN): This indigenously conceived area grid radio communication system for the field formations launched more than a decade ago has since grown into a potent tool for the commanders to exercise command & control and automated interoperable information and decision support systems in their area of responsibility.

Army Static Switched Communication Network (ASCON): The ASCON was evolved to integrate the telecommunication infrastructure of the hinterland with the tactical communication networks. It is a digital, fully automated, secure, reliable and survivable static communication system based on microwave radio, optical fibre cable, satellite and milli-metric wave communication equipments. Value added services such as Fax, Telex, data transfer and video are also available to the defence users on this network. The ASCON network is currently being expanded to include all army commands and areas in eastern India and also finalising plans for future expansion of the network. In addition, ASCON's existing microwave links are being replaced with optical fibre cable for increased reliability in communication.

Troposcatter Communication Systems: The Corps of Signals have harnessed the potential of troposcatter communications basically to meet the requirements of mechanised formations operating in rapidly changing tactical environments and for responsive & quickly deployable mobile systems to provide cross linkages and integration with the communication networks in the tactical zones. The digital mobile troposcatter systems are operated by specialized signal groups.

Satellite Communication (SATCOM): Conventional communication systems derived over field & permanent lines and radios could not be satisfactorily established over mountainous and snow-clad areas of borders in India. Hence the Corps has developed expertise and are already exploiting the latest facilities available by using INMARSAT, INSAT, LCTs and ECTs in the low-intensity conflict areas. INMARSAT has been used by the Corps of Signals units deputed for service in Somalia, Rwanda, Mozambique, Cambodia and Angola.

Computer Data Networks: The Corps of Signals has done pioneering work in spreading computer literacy in the Indian Army since the 1960s. Right now the Corps is providing the pivotal role and infrastructure in exploiting Information Technology (IT) for data communications, weapon control and management systems. This fast proliferation of IT is providing an ideal incentive to the IT specialists for both graduates and post-graduates.

Electronic Warfare: This has become one of the most potent force multipliers and a technologically challenging field in which the Corps has developed tremendous expertise. EW has played a stellar role in anti-insurgency and low intensity conflict operations besides the conventional operations conducted earlier in Sri Lanka and recently in Kargil.

Information Technology: In the thrust of the Indian Army to usher into an era of acquiring maximum dividends from IT, the Corps of Signals is the torch bearer and facilitator. Fully automated offices with minimum paper work, improved response timings, fast information dissemination systems, hierarchical management information systems at all levels are some of the areas of thrust.

Static Peacetime Communications: Signals is providing standard subscriber communication services to the Army during peace time by way of telephone, telex, fax, e-mail, voice-mail and data transfer by establishing state-of-art communication systems and networks.

Automatic Message Switching / Handling Systems (AMSS): The Corps is also using a computerised AMSS for handling the high volume message traffic of the Army. This is network connecting the hierarchical nodes where the army formations are deployed.

Blogging In Photographs

Starting upon a new thread on photography, an all consuming passion of mine. I plan to put up some of the craziest pictures that ever came out a photographers camera.

1. How Narayana Murthy reached the top with Infosys!

2. C-130 crash in Iraq - Classic case of why NOTAM's are important.

3. C-130 crash in Iraq - Birds eye perspective.

4. Thunderbird Ejection - An Aviators dream turned into horror.

5. Bird Hit - Is that Tandoori Chicken by any chance :)

6. The Special Forces Club at Phu Bai - Picture from another era (Vietnam War).

If Aviators Became Directors...

711

Aa Ab Loop Marein

Aerodynamics Koi Khel Nahi

Go Round Kiya To Darna Kya

Hamari FRC Apke Paas Hai

Jaanam Fly Karo

Kabhi Spin Kabhi Eject

Landing Ho Naa Ho

Maine Bees Rupaye Ka Form Kyu Bhara

Mi Wale Congo Jayenge

There She Goes...

It all starts here...at the wheels

Next comes the Engine...

Then we add on the fuselage & get onto a dream...

And then finally, we reach out for the stars!

Ushuaiah, the journey begins!

Sky Unlimited

Soft grey clouds interspersed with wafts of cotton white enveloping the sky and making patterns of varying hues on the surface of water. Land sizzling high, water splashing wild and the clouds wafting languorously across the sky. Picture perfect, just the way an ace photographer would have liked to have in order to capture the scenic beauty of this world.

The things that we take for granted the most are the ones around us that help us overcome obstacles, keep our sanity intact and give us a reason to smile. We all are humans and with due apologies to Mr Julius Cesar, I would like to rephrase his oft repeated quote by saying that it is for us humans to err and then make that mistake all over again. My post (Storm & Petals II) is a living testament to this.

Anyway, this post is not on Storm & Petals because that's something which happened in my past. What is now more important for me is to live the present and construct something good for the future. Call it a noble mission or anything else, I am secure in the knowledge that there are a few good men and one less woman to help me out. However, this is not about them but about somebody about whom I have never spoken before.

Have you ever experienced the thrill of riding out a storm, the ecstasy of conquering blinding snow and a terrible blizzard or the euphoria of having tamed a tempest? Have you ever come across a toughened soldier or met a seasoned sailor or maybe came face to face with an aviator who has seen it all while throttling down to earth from high up in the sky? For once try and unhinge your mind from the vagaries of daily life and think about the most beautiful thing that you have experienced in your life so far. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, imagine yourself standing on some lofty peak with the pure mountain air filling your lungs. What do you see? A dream, right?

I am no Paulo Coehlo yet, I know the power of dreams. I firmly believe that dreams are the stepping stones to reality. There is nothing wrong in dreaming, no matter how big or audacious our goal, it is always a good idea to dream. However, we must always be rooted to reality or else we will lose control over who we are.

This post is dedicated to a friend of mine who almost scuttled her dreams once. Something had shattered her, a broken remnant of her past which haunted her no end. But the will-power to overcome obstacles and human endurance finally paid off. My friend is back on track, back to the azure blue sky she loved watching, back to the clouds she loves flying through, back to the stars which she one day wants to touch.

Never stop dreaming my friend because dreams will one day take us to the final fantasy. The endless Space beckons us all. Viva le ciel!

Storm & Petals II

The picture that you see above is that of a Hawker Tempest Mk. V. Made in the heydays of the second world war, the Tempest was in service with the RAF.

It indeed is a Tempest that I find myself in right now. Never thought that such a thing would ever be possible. I was naive enough to believe whatever was said. I should have been more prudent in approach & shouldn't have taken everything at face value.

Have you had the chance to read Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken? The poem starts beautifully with...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

The poem is as much an assertion of individualism as it is a scathing mockery of people who are perennially hesitant to walk the right path. The best part in the poem is in the last stanza wherein Robert Frost says...

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Something sure has made all the difference, something that never occured to me before. I'm still finding it weird to realise that I went along with it all these days. Feelings, emotions, the time spent together, the things shared between us, the said, the unsaid, the felt and the understood. Was it all a lie? Was it nothing more than a play of words? No matter how much I try and be rational over here, it just doesn't add up.

It feels as if suddenly something has become disjointed from you. The abruptness of it all has certainly taken me by surprise. Maybe it was my fault that I didnt read the signals along the way. When I look back, there were things, blaring and screaming at me. I knew them also but everytime I tried discussing them, it was brushed aside. And then yesterday, the whole thing blew up.

Looking at it right now, I can make out that it wasn't abrupt at all. It was a very gradual yet secretive thing that build up over the past few months. And like a fool I had blinkers on my eyes and was made to feel as if things are going in the right direction. Yeah, right direction it sure is but on a different path. Like Robert Frost, I have always travelled the road less travelled but this time I wanted to do something more common. Probably it was intentional that I was pushed onto it this time around.

Are you wondering why I'm writing all this? To be honest, even I don't know. Probably because I never expected this to happen, atleast not this way. It would be an understatement if I say that I'm feeling cheated and made fun of. And to think of, all this had been happening for quite some time. Probably I'm writing this because I don't know what else to do or whom to share this with. My life is an open book but this will go down with me to my grave. Apart from me, there is only one other person who knows this.

We always take for granted what is around us. So this mean that I also do something drastic like a majority of the people normally do? No, I refuse to be bound to customs and traditions.

Does this change anything for me? Yes and No. Yes, it sure has hurt me like hell but No, I won't let this bog me down. Life still continues, doesn't it?

Coming back to the Tempest about which I spoke in the beginning of this post, the last couple of months I'd got settled into my own comfort zone. Never in my life had I ever got into one because I've always known the negative fallout of being in a comfort zone. The day you get into your comfort zone, you become careless and lackadaisical in life. Nothing could be more dangerous than getting into a situation that will throw you into danger.

But this time, I allowed myself to sit back, threw all cautions to the wind and enjoyed the short comfortable stay. No more, never again. Yet again, I've learned one of the biggest lessons of life through a small yet very significant event.

Enough of the problem definition I guess. What about the solution? Simple, I've already put this behind me. I've phenomenol tolerance for such unpleasant surprises that life sometimes throws up at you. For me this event has already paled away into insignificance.

Did this entire thing change me? I guess not, I hate losing my originality. I'll now be more cautious about what happens around me. Enjoy, I will. Fun, I always have. The only thing that is different is that henceforth, it'll be difficult for me to enjoy the good old things in the same manner. In corporate jargon they call it Opportunity Cost.

As always, I don't have any regret nor do I harbour any hurt feelings. Just a wish that Storm & Petals (http://zephyrinsky.blogspot.com/2007/10/storm-petals.html) hadn't withered away like this.

The letters never got replied back or even acknowledged. The SMSes stopped coming long time back. The phone calls have already stopped, infact the cell has not rung in the past 72 Hrs. I'm still at a loss as to whether the innocence and freshness of being somebody's best friend also died an unnatural death.

2007 is coming to a close but this is not the way I wanted to celebrate New Years Eve this time. Nobody wants to be sad while celebrations are happening dime a dozen around you. But oh, what the heck, life goes on. As B*witched sang long ago, 'C'est la vie!'.

Les amis à jamais

She is back. Back with a bang!

It was yesterday when the wheels of change started turning again. She walked in from the main gate, straight down the foyer & into my arms. Sounds way too filmy but thats how it was.

I was talking to a friend over dinner when I sensed her coming to me. I didnt even have to turn back to know that she was there. I knew it. It was in the air. I excused myself from my friend, turned around, my arms automatically opened up, I offered my hand to congratulate her (she'd just done something very big in life) & in less than what it takes you to blink your eyes I found ourselves hugging each other. I am not lying but this was the best embrace that I've had in my life so far. Nothing else mattered to me at that instant, everything around us faded away to obscurity.

She is back & things are back to normal. I always knew (http://zephyrinsky.blogspot.com/2007/09/band-of-brothers-spirit-of-friendship.html) that one day we'll get back together, it was just a question of time.

It feels great to have you back buddy. I know that we've missed out on many things over these past few months but hey, we can always catch up.

Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Boeing & finally Arianespace! They all are up for grabs.

Welcome back!

High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark, or even eagle flew -

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

+++

Flying has been the mantra of life for pilots since the dawn of aviation. High Flight is a tribute to those special people known as Aviators who break free from the shackles of this earth & fly away to the blue sky.

Everytime I read this poem, it sends a tingling sensation down my spine. It strikes a chord deep within me & makes me yearn to strap up the harness, close the canopy & take off to touch the sky.

Sky - its a different world to be in. Flying is not a passion, its not a religion, its not an obsession. Flying is life! Everything else pales into insignificance.

I Dream Tomorrow

Tomorrow as you open your eyes

And wake up into a new lit dawn,

There you will stand audacious and bold

To lay down an epic never before told.

And as on the steps you proceed staunchly

Leaving behind all your languish willingly,

The world will linger upon you and extol

As if you were an occultous doll.

Once again you'll remember those torrid days

In which you toiled on barren bays,

Labouring morning and noon incessantly

Untill you comandeered and decimated successfully.

At once you go back into that long awaited eulogy

And like a maelstrom euphoria touched thee,

Your efficacy in the battle did not go waste

'cause paid you is a holocaust - so FULMINATE!

+ + +

This is for my best friend from yesteryears with whom I've shared some of the best moments of my life. She was and still remains one of the most gifted persons I've met in my life so far.

Rock on girl, way to go buddy!

Once We Were Warriors

...Continuation of Green On! Go!

I'm not emotionally affected by what happened. I certainly dont have nightmares. We are big boys & we know the rules we play by. We've all been close to death. You accept it. You dont want it to happen, of course, but sometimes, there you go - occupational hazard.

In a strange way I'm almost glad I went through the experience. I wouldnt like to repeat it, but I'm glad that it happened.

Some things, however, will live with me for ever.

The crash of a bolt.

The boom of gunfire.

The smell of burning flesh.

The suffocation of an acrid smoke.

The rattle of rounds falling all around you.

From all this I've learned that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Things that might have bothered me in the past are less likely to now - sparkling wine spilling over my crisply pressed clothes, the car not starting when I'm in a hurry, something valuable getting lost, my laptop breaking up after falling from a height. I know my limitations better now, yet I feel more positive & self assured. I no longer take anything for granted. I appreciate simple, everyday things much more; instead of spending a bomb on getting my laptop repaired, I'll make do without it. I'm not attached to anything in this world.

As to the rights & wrongs of the war - well, thats never been a worry to me. I was a soldier, thats what I was paid for. It was very exciting, I got high doing it.

And as for the people who were lobbing shells over my gang, if I meet any of them in the street tomorrow, either here in India or the United States of Honolulu or wherever, & they think that they will get away with it, well, I'll slot them & rip them apart from spleen to spine in one go.

Alea jacta est, the Rubicon has been crossed!

Diwali - The Festival of Lights

Its Diwali today. One of the most quintessential of all Indian festivals, Diwali is the celebration of light and symbolises the importance of living a vibrant life.

India looks decked up like a Queen during Diwali time. Roads, streets, shops, homes everything is adorned with shining electric lights that add a totally different hue to the place. Busy thoroughfares through the city turn into a veritable feast for the eyes due to the multitude of colours that adorn the way. People put in a lot of time and effort to clean their areas, put shiny new lights around and wait for Goddess Lakshmi to bless them with her presence. In Hindu mythology, Lakshmi is the Goddess of wealth and prosperity and almost all Indians look forward to enjoying her blessing during this period.

This time during Diwali, I decided to do something different. Instead of blowing up a few thousand bucks on firecrackers and polluting the environment and lead to high decibel levels, I decided to spend my time with a few special people, soldiers of the Indian Armed Forces who'd lost their limbs or arms or both during the course of duty.

It was an emotional experience for me to be amidst these brave guys. Even though they had had lost a part of their body, their spirit was indomitable. Having given their best to the nation and to their unit, these guys showed the steadfast resoluteness to bash on regardless in life. Come inclement weather, loss of limb or arm, these guys were ready to brave any storm. A majority of these soldiers had lost their appendages in J&K where we are fighting a proxy way. In military parlance we call it Low Intensity Conflict / Counter Insurgency Operations. There were a few casualties from the North East also. Additionally there were a few paramilitary chaps who were involved in anti Naxalite operations in the hinterlands of India.

It felt really good to have spent time with these brave people. Not even once did I feel that they were any different than me. The typical fauji mood prevailed everywhere. There was a light hearted banter going on, a corny joke was being shared somewhere, somebody was using the very colourful fauji lingua franca with finesse while someplace else chaps were planning out things for the weekend.

People in the swish civvy streets have always asked me what faujis do when there is no war going on. It is very difficult for them to understand why we need to have a military even when we are not fighting a war. For these people, it is an alien proposition to understand how someone can be given a salary without being given a sales target for the month or for a quarter. Everybody is not money minded or profit driven but who will explain it to these people.

When I go home, people ask me, "Hey you, why do you do it man? Are you some kind of a war junkie?". I wont say a God damn word. Why? They wont understand, they wont understand a God damn word as to why we do it. Its about the men next to you. That’s it, that’s all that it is.

People think that we fight a war because we want to be heroes. No. Nobody wants to be a hero. It just sometimes turns out that way. Somebody has to do the job, somebody has to get their hands bloodied.

Soldiers are not taught to sacrifice their life for the country. Rather, they are trained to kill the B@$&@^] on the other side of the trench. A soldier doesn’t feel himself any superior to his civilian counterpart. That’s a wrong notion carried by people outside the uniformed services. A soldier, by virtue of his training and the regimented discipline that is ingrained into his psyche knows that he is supposed to carry out his duty without fail.

At the end of the day, its all about belonging to the Brotherhood of Hero’s...soldiers carry out their allotted tasks and many a times go beyond the call of duty. This is what makes soldiers different from the people outside the armed forces, maybe this is what makes them special.

It was with such people that I spent my Diwali this year and more than I making them smile, they touched my life in a very special way.

Voiceless Chayos

Voiceless..I am

Violent my smiles are

Silent my tears are..

But........I speak..

Through my eyes...

My face glows.......

Whole body sings...

When you harp....

Melody.....

Fills my soul...

With your touch...

You have to look at me

To listen it

You have to look at me

To read me

You have to look at me

To know me

I'm not nameless

I'm not stranger

I'm not lifeless

Voiceless....

Only I am

........................................

Voiceless to unknown.

She Is...

A face so pretty

A face so bright,

She can light up

Even the darkest of all nights.

A scent so sweet

A scent so divine,

She can gently turn you on

With her fragrance wafting high.

A presence so electrifying

A presence so desired,

She can make you want her

For a lifetime's serenade.

A walk through the forest

A journey through night,

Wish she was near

Never out of sight.

Flying over the horizon

Across the coast glinting bright,

Soaking in the moment forever

Never wanting to let her go off sight.

A slowly rising melody

A tune that is right,

An epitome of beauty

She is a wonderful sight!

She is... ... ...

+++

This is for the one who started it all.

Not so long ago, I was at Oberoi Towers next to the NCPA in Bombay. A gentleman was playing the western classical piano in the hotel lobby & I just couldn't resist myself from walking up to him and listening to the wonderful tunes he was playing. He treated me to a veritable fare that included everything from Bach to Mozart to Beethoven and finally wrapped up with John Denver.

Annie's Song is an awesome composition. If you haven't heard it, go & get yourself a CD. Trust me, it'll make a difference to you in your life. All you need to do is find yourself a comfortable place to sit in (my favourite being the Bean Bag in my bedroom or the leather couch in the living room), draw the shades, switch off all lights, cell-phones and rest all distractions. Sit back, close your eyes & let John Denver take you through an ethereal journey.

Annie's Song has a special significance for me. It always induces a bittersweet memory in me. It is like a pain that is both sublime yet very powerful. Some people like it while some don't. But whatever you do, you can't ignore it. The song brings out the best & the worst of human emotions within us. For some it is a catharitic exprience everytime they hear the song while some get the most virtiolic of all emotions when they listen to Annie's Song.

As for the one who started it all, well, words are not sufficient to describe her. Have you ever seen a person enter a room and brighten it up with her smile? Have you ever experienced somebody's presence who can liven up the atmosphere in & around? Well if you haven't then my friend, you ought to be in love, not with just a person but with an existence.

The Lady here will always be an Enigma & I prefer it that way because, she is not ordinary.

She Is... ... ...

Fragmented Existence

Like an Eagle looking at the sky

Its a gentle luxury to weep,

Clouds have winds for them to keep

Do you know what you want from this life,

To keep away from the darkness deep?

Fragmented existence

Darkness enveloping the bright sky,

A mighty fury building up

A tempest gone wild.

Riding the wind

Unleashing the storm,

Washed away by circumstances

Dipping sun giving way to the dawn.

Fighting the odds

Destroying the violence mile high,

Striving alone

Battling hard to clean up the sky.

Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes

Resurrect the bond,

Spread the hands wide

And fly out to the azure blue sky.

A reason to live

A reason to smile,

A reason to fly

Higher than the blue sky.

Once Again...

This is for the one who made it all possible..my best friend from yesteryears who had got lost in the mist of the past.

Its a different world altogether. A different place and a different plane of existence. I know it wont make sense to a lot of people but I'm not bothered. I know that N would understand it. And thats all that I want.

Change has been the only constant in my life because nothing is permanent except change. N and I have travelled a long path back from those days in the past. While she took a turn to the left, I turned right. It was happenstance that made us meet again. It was providence that made things conducive enough for us to get back and talk just like the good old days.

25 Oct 2007 goes down in my life as a day which sprang a big surprise. Its been quite a roller coaster ride through thick and thin but in the end, N and I came out much the wiser.

It feels great to have rediscovered an old friend, someone who does make a difference to you.

Thanks for everything N. It sure feels great to have you back in life.

Storm & Petals

She has somewhat of a mysterious aura around her that piques at your curiosity the first time you meet her. She is like a quaint old river that flows effortlessly through pebbles & stones & in the process ends up polishing them to a perfect shine.

She is the kind who will make you feel comfortable even under the glare of a 1000 eyes. She is somebody who can touch your circadian rhythm with ease & become a part of your living existence for the rest of your life.

Her affection & love for others is never elusive & people around her enjoy basking under the glory of her spirited existence. A wonderful soul who can never think ill about anyone nor has ever trampled upon anything in her life, she radiates grace & charm wherever she goes. She is the true manifestation of an esoteric beauty with oodles of cerebrum.

She is life!

Earth Bound Misfit

Dear Earth Bound Misfit,

I like the mysterious aura surrounding you. I really appreciate the way you've kept the cards close to you. But this mystery is too much of an esoteric delight to be forgone.

I'm wondering as to how come you know me but I can't place you. You said that you know me a decent bit. Now I'm wondering as to who you are because I'm not in the habit of forgetting people.

Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream. The only use of a knowledge of the past is to equip us for the present. The present contains all that there is. It is holy ground; for it is the past, and it is the future.

Robert Frost once said "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on".

I know for sure that we know each other. Its not that I've forgotten you but just that its difficult placing you in this maze called life. I wouldn't hazard a guess because sometimes happenstance can go wrong. Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened.

Nothing would give me greater satisfaction than getting to know who you are. I don't think I'll be expecting too much if I ask you to lift the veil of mystery surrounding you.

'Leave nothing but footprints... Take nothing but pictures... Treasure nothing but memories'.

Regards,

Zephyr.

Alive!

It feels good to be alive

Sun soaked existence

Pretty sight for the eyes.

It feels great to be able to fly

Soar like birds

Touch the zenith sky high.

There's a good deal to survive

Snow covered peaks

Sparkling rivers falling from icy heights.

It feels good to be alive

Mysterious existence

Stars twinkling bright.

The Coolest Blue

Circa 2005

It all started in Bombay.

Since then, life has meandered through pebbles & stones to flow effortlessly with the zest of life.

Where it goes, only time will tell.

* * *

The first time I met her
I fell in love with her charm
Meeting her that day
Was like falling into a romantic trance.

Second time we met
The hope looked brighter
Pictures came and melted the heart
Gave me all the more reasons to smile.

The third time things looked bleak
Didn’t want to miss her,
The glory of her charm
And get the tears of streak.

The pictures came
Went right through my mind
Glimpses of her gracious grace
And her most amazing charm.

Tho’ I aint AXL Rose and Slash
I still jive well
So I believed in God
Put my trust in his faith.

Didn’t want to miss Ms Grace
Snapshots of heaven
Wanderlust of the pure
The two way glory unfolds.

So ‘twas no surprise
That I met her again
Had the best time of my life
Till that very date.

The night was serene
The ocean a deep dark blue
Waters splashing on the Rocks
Foaming with a very different hue.


Things were looking their very best
Had nothin’ to regret
Took the decision
To live it all over again.

Sure about the decision
As sure as heaven as I could be
Want to capture this moment forever
Never to let go by of it again.

I don’t know what lies beyond the blue yonder;
Since I fly in the sky so blue and,
The mighty wings take me high;
Very few things interest me that are,
Not in the sky.

Didn’t know who she was
Didn’t know where she was
Don’t know why I never crossed her
In the alleys of life
Before that moment.

I know many things
Yet don’t know anything
But I know one thing for sure
She is so wonderful and true
That I’ll always find her

The Coolest Blue.

Band of Brothers - The Spirit of Friendship

What you see on the left is a picture from the flag raising at Iwo Jima.

Iwo Jima is a strategically located island in the Pacific Ocean which witnessed one of the bloodiest infantry fights of World War II. The US Army & the USMC fought a bloody battle to wrest Iwo Jima away from the Japanese.

Whenever I look at this picture, it evokes a strong nostalgic feeling in me. It brings back all the good memories of being with people whom you could trust with your life. It brings back the memories of those long lost days and nights wherein we would patiently sit out for the enemy and then go in for the kill. Band of Brothers, thats what we used to call ourselves before HBO made the term a household name through its syndicated series with the same name.

That was then. Now, in the swish civy streets, Band of Brothers feels more like an alien concept. People talk about things like group dynamics, cooperation & esprit de corps. These all sound so very jazzy but I hardly ever see any such thing happening. People are more interested in scoring points over one another, criss crossing each other & trying their level best to pull down others around them.

The war cry & the blood curdling screams are not present here but the competition is so intense that people dont hesitate even once to draw out their swords & attack others with razor sharp accuracy. The trust, the faith & all the friendliness is gone.

I'd been warned about the pit falls of the civy street but I never knew that it is so difficult for people here to live upto the spirit of friendship. It never crossed my mind that over here, people whom you consider close can actually react negatively one day and fall out permanently by the way side.

I've always been confused by the ways of the so called civilized world. People whom you consider good friends & who are close to you, you never expect them to act in an irrational manner. I fail to understand as to how after having put in a lot of time & effort to make the friendship work, it crumbles down and breaks apart because of a freak incident.

If the friendship is so weak that it cant endure even a slight change in weather, then its better that there be no friendship! I know I am making a very strong statement here but I have always hated the cold shoulder attitude. Someone might accuse you of not making enough efforts to sustain the tempo of friendship but then, what can you do when somebody is blind and oblivious to reality. What do you do when your friend refuses to see reason & ends up believing a rank outsider? If an outsider can influence your friend so much that she goes at loggerheads with you & becomes opposed to you, then I guess there is no reason to continue with the friendship anymore.

It takes a lot to build, maintain & sustain any relationship. It must be so strong that even the fiercest of tempests cant knock it down. However, if the very will to survive against all odds is absent & one ends up believing people who wish nothing but the worst for your friendship, one cant help but feel disappointed.

I always keep humming to myself, its not for us to reason why, its just for us to do or die. God knows I tried my best, I did all that I could to save the situation from going bust. But inspite of my 100% efforts, the lifelong friendship that was supposed to last an eternity came to an end.

I'm still the same, nothing much has happened to me. But I miss having the good pal whose company I enjoyed so much all these days. Its easy to forget a broken heart when ones relationship goes through the doldrums but its difficult or rather impossible to come to terms with having lost a good friend. It becomes all the more difficult not to miss her when she is not around & to act as if shes not there even though she is sitting somewhere else in the same room where you're sitting. I dont care much about the curious stares that people give & neither do I give a damn about the people who were instrumental in breaking up our friendship. What I am concerned about is to figure out if I can get back to my friend just like the good old days.

Nothing beats the feeling of walking down a long winding road with a close pal. Nothing can substitute the joy of sharing things with your friend. Nothing can ever come close to the happiness one derives when one knows that a friend is always there to stand by you.

Reality has jaded me so much that I ended up becoming an optimist. I know that nothing is permanent except change & one day I would love to be back with my friend. When that happens, only time will tell. I've left the option wide open to her & for a change, I'm really hoping that she can dispel the cloud of mistrust separating us.

The spirit of friendship has never failed me. Eternity is a long way to go.

She will always be a friend to me.

Flying Into Virgin Territory

First time in the air is an awesome experience for most of us. But the first time one gets airborne as a pilot with the full knowledge that henceforth he/she is responsible for the sortie is indeed a nerve wracking experience.

An air passenger will never be able to fathom what goes on inside a pilot's mind. This is not so much because of any lack of knowledge or skill-set of the passenger as it is due to the unique aspect of flying. Nothing can tell you about flying other than first hand experience.

The first time I went airborne, I was bewildered beyond my wildest imagination. Too many things were happening at the same time. I didnt know what to do, whether to keep a check on my aircrafts attitude with respect to the horizon, look outside the canopy to cross check where I was headed, keep an eye over engine parameters or simply to adjust the throttle mixture setting as per the regulations & trim the aircraft.

I felt very flustered because this was something that I'd been waiting for all my life. While others used to eat, dream & sleep cricket with most of my pals chasing skirts & the gals fishing for guys, I used to pore over tomes of flying books, both fascinated & engrossed at the same time about the wonderful world of aviation. Since the very beginning, I was sure that sky is where I belong to & while others are born to die, I am born to fly. LOL!

My first air sortie as a pilot was nothing much to talk about. Apart from my amazing bewilderment, I was mightily confused as to what to do next. While I did all the checks as per the SOP, called out over R/T while turning Cross & timed out perfectly after having crossed the live dumbell over Downwind, I couldnt understand how time flew so fast! It seemed just a second ago that I'd pulled up in air during my Take Off roll & I was already on Baseleg, about to call off for a Full Stop over long finals.

After doing the regimen of [i]Nose straight, no drift[/i] & blah blah blah, I touched down & cleared off the link to reach the apron. With the engines shut & all circuit breakers out, I opened the cockpit canopy & gulped in a mouthful of the hot desert air.

When I was in school I'd read the Red Baron's (Manfred von Richthofen) 1917 book Der Rote Kampfflieger. Apart from his flying feats, I was especially impressed by the Red Baron's honesty about his utter mental confusion the first time he went into the air. I must also mention General Sefton Brancker's (of the notorious Mercator controversy) famous remark in his lecture to the Royal Aeronautical Society when he said that no one ever sees anything at all during his first hour in the air owing to the hopeless confusion in his mind caused by the novel aspect of everything.

Flying into virgin territory isnt such an easy task afterall!

Sadaiv Satark

Sadaiv Satark or Always Alert is what keeps one alive not only in the battlefield but also in the swish civvy street.

This incident happened very recently. I'd to go down to city 'H' on an official visit and was accompanied by Ms. 'D' and Mr. 'M'. On their insistence, we booked a CHT (Civ Hired Transport) for ourselves.

These CHT's are considered very safe & the best way to cover long distances as one need not get unduly worried about keeping a constant watch for unwanted visitors.

We boarded our CHT at 2130 Hrs on an evening when the heavens had amply opened up with all their wonderous delight. We'd hardly travelled a few miles when news trickled in about the twin bomb blasts in city 'H' with many fatal casualties. A sordid pall of gloom descended upon us at this mindless violence. I fail to understand these Jehadi minds who are hell bent on creating utter destruction where-ever they go. I dont understand why people cant adopt the policy of 'Live & let live'. Is harmonious coexistence so difficult?

Anyway, we continued with our journey even though the threat perception level was at an all time high. Ms 'D' & Mr 'M' joked about people in city 'H' giving me a jazzy welcome. Twin blasts with lots of fatalities, it looked like a bad omen.

Mr 'M' was constantly on the phone with his beloved and as Ms 'D' was sitting next to me, the task of distracting her mind from the blasts fell upon me. The CHT we were travelling in had a video console and we ended up watching an old hindi flick. I was mighty amused to see one of the biggest hits of the early 90's after such a long time. The moves & shakes of the onscreen actors seemed very funny & Ms 'D' & I ended up having a hearty laugh watching the movie. With garish make-up, clothes that can give you eye sores, cliched dialogues & a storyline that seemed to lead nowhere, I started wondering as to what nadir the Indian movie industry had fallen to during the 90's before it resurrected itself post Y2K like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

Sometime after midnight, we pulled up at a roadside dhaba where a lot of truckers were taking a pit stop on their seemingly endless journey to their destination. In India, one thumb rule to make out a good wayside joint is to count the number of trucks parked outside. The more the number of truckers eating their food at a particular joint, the higher is the possibility of finding tasty food inside.

Ms 'D' was not really hungry as she'd been to a McDonald's before we started our journey. Mr 'M' was slightly hungry & as for me, well, I'm somewhat like Jughead Jones. I'm perenially hungry, and not just for food! LOL! So while Ms 'D' stuck to her favourite cola drink, Mr 'M' & I digged into some spicy chicken gravy along with an endless stream of that quintessential of all chicken accompaniments...butter naan. Ms 'D' was charming enough not to object while we guys chomped down our food. Once the chow session was over, we moved back to the CHT and started the trash hindi movie from where we'd left it before going for dinner.

Mr 'M' found a cosy spot in the CHT & was beaming side to side on having found a strong connection on his cellphone even on the move. And then he went back to the object of his affection. Love can actually drive people crazy, notwithstanding the huge roaming bill that you incur on the move!

So it was back to Ms 'D' & ME all over again. We discussed a lot many things that night. As the CHT moved forward into the dark night with the crap songs from the same old hindi movie blaring out of the speakers, the heavens, which had been taking a breather, opened up again. It felt wonderful hearing the pitter-patter of raindrops lashing against the window. And my discussion with Ms 'D' continued even further into the night.

Sometime late into the night, Ms 'D' drifted off into the dreamy world. Mr 'M' had already been asleep for the past couple of hours. Apart from the driver, I was the only one in the entire CHT who was fully awake. With the sleep fairy acting coy with me, I couldn't even drift off to the dreamy world the way my friend Ms 'D' did. So I just closed my eyes & started thinking about some random things.

After sometime, I felt a sudden urge to get ready for action. Now that was a strange feeling because it had been ages since I last vanquished any enemy elements. However, years of gruelling training & tons of experience years told me otherwise. My instinct was very much intact & so was my reaction time. In a split second, I became acutely aware of my immediate environment, opened my eyes & started sensing around to see if something was wrong. That very moment, I saw something very large looming over my head from the window & at the same time, I saw very bright headlights appear ghostlike from the front.

In a nanosecond, I sensed that something major was going to happen & that too from the window side. My reaction kicked in & I instinctly took Ms 'D's' head in my hands & tucked them under my shoulder. A fraction of a second later, the whole window shattered to a million pieces with most of the glass pieces flying directly towards me. Ms 'D' & I had borne the brunt of the impact and suddenly after that, the whole CHT lifted up in the air, became airborne for sometime and came crashing down with a defeaning thud.

All of a sudden, the whole place became quiet. I swear you could have heard the sound of a cotton ball wafting down to earth. It was the deadly silence that followed the severest of tempests, the peaceful calm that is left behind after a storm.

I physically lifted Ms 'D' out of her seat & picked out glass pieces that had got embedded into her clothes. After ensuring that she was safe & after having checked out Mr 'M', I became aware of a sharp, throbbing pain in my arms. Under the Indiglow illumination of my wristwatch, I realised that glass pieces had got deeply embedded into my skin.

Mr 'M' had woken up with a start & I told him to move out of the vehicle. We collected our gear & notwitstanding the pain, I brushed off the scattered glass pieces & helped Ms 'D' come out of the CHT. I did a rudimentary inspection & was glad that nobody had been seriosuly hurt. I was bleeding from several places but managed to dab out the blood fairly quickly. My adrenaline was pumping fast & the pain & discomfort of having glass pieces embedded into my skin was the last thing on my mind.

It was a beautiful night, we were on the upslope of a hill, a nice gentle breeze was blowing & the entire place was eerily lighted up in shades of blue & brazen gold with the sunrise just about an hour away. On closer examination of the CHT, I found the chasis broken & the entire left side of the vehicle dented with the whole window portion smashed away. The CHT stood on the road like a lighthouse rooted to the shore amidst a sea full of fury.

At first we thought that we'd been hit by IED's but on inspecting the surrounding environment something else transpired. While we were climing the hill, a tree branch fell down right in front of the CHT. Our driver swerved to avoid the branch but due to high speed ended up hitting the tree itself. The whole tree shook in mighty fury & came crashing down on us through the window. Ms 'D' & I bore the full impact & thats when the window broke & glass started flying everywhere. Due to the momentum which was imparted now, the driver tried stopping the CHT but ended up hitting a 10-wheeler truck coming from the opposite side. This was the second impact & it lifted us up in the air.

The tree came crashing down through the window into the exact spot where Ms 'D' & I had our respective heads & had I not ducked & pulled Ms 'D' under me, our heads would have been blown to smithereens. I dont know whether it was luck or something else that saved us that night, but had it not been for the quick reflexes, both Ms 'D' & I would have been on our way to heaven. And then everyone would have prayed R.I.P. for us!

Ms 'D' was still in a daze & though she was taking everything in her stride, she was majorly shaken up. Thats when the feeling sunk in that we both could have easily died in that freak mishap. I have traversed through minefields, walked down trails full of IED's & Jumping Betty's & would have been really disappointed had I gone heavenward in a stupid road accident.

However, we'd a job to do & so after minor repairs to the CHT, continued on our journey. What happened afterwards is an event in itself & I shall cover it sometime else.

Op Adwitiya Part I

Key Location Post, 2345 Hrs
I am going out on a mission after a long time and it feels good to be back in action. The stuffiness of the airconditioned environment had started affecting my sanity. Its good to back in the open and experience the varied human emotions all over again.

Adwitiya would loosely translate into 'Second to none'. This mission couldn't have been more aptly named. I like the sound of Adwitiya, like being in action all over again.

We humped off from the KLP in an exuberant mood. But the good times were soon to come to an end. A couple of minutes into the mission and the first volley of gunfire started. This was pretty normal but what came next was a bit of a shocker. There were two loud bangs followed by a series of explosions that ripped apart the darkness of the night. The staccato firing was so intense and the din so loud that one could have easily gone deaf.

"Its not for us to reason why, its just for us to do or die"! With these thoughts in mind and also with the goal looming over the dark horizon, we pushed ahead ignoring the blood curdling scenario that suddenly seemed to have enveloped us from all over.

...To be continued...

Degh Teg Fateh!

Its 1236 Hrs on a glorious sunny day. A soft wind is breezing
through the trees while I soak in the lush greenery of the mountain in front of me.

C'est la vie, this is life. So many people in so many places and yet, just a single one who brings a smile to one's face. Long time back, one of my best friends told me that

'Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,

And finds in your presence that life is worth while.

So when you are lonely, remember it's true,

Somebody somewhere is thinking of you.'

There are dime a dozen people in this little world of ours and a zillion different faces that we come across. Here today, gone tomorrow, we don't know how long this show will go. Many people come, some stay awhile while others go away forever in endless time. A few stay back and these are the ones that bring a whole new meaning to life.

Check out Slash walking out of the Chapel and strumming out his guitar in the video of 'November Rain' by Guns N' Roses and the finale wherein AXL Rose sings his heart out at the funeral. Or check out the brawl in the pub in the video of 'Dont Cry' yet again by Guns N' Roses.

I sometimes cant understand why people act the way they do. Is it that difficult to be good to others and treat them nicely? Why is that the ones you are closest to hurt you the most? Why is it that we fall for this trap again and again? I am not saying that one must expect something back in return but when you go out of your way to live upto the spirit of belonging to people close to you, aren't they also supposed to do the same. Why does mudslinging and volleys of accusations start in the first place when everybody knows that it will lead to bitter acrimony later on? It is worse when no exchange of words takes place because the coldness seeps down to your skin and you fidget under the uncomfortable feeling of having lost something precious.

Just wish things were better. Hope that one day, some day, things will be back to what they should have been.

At YO Wing they teach us that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But I have realised that once the day is done, only the Invincibles resurrect themselves like the Phoenix rising from the ashes.

A tout le monde, a tout mes amis

Je vous aime, je dois partir

These are the last words I'll ever speak

And they'll set me free!

Degh Teg Fateh!

One Mouthful of Sky

Earth, Wind, Rain & Fire,
Wealth, Power, Blood, Desire,
One goal to aim for before we die,
One taste of glory,
One mouthful of Sky.

Seven reasons for becoming a Pilot.

When I grow up I want to be a pilot because:-

1. It's a fun job and easy to do. That's why there are so many pilots flying around these days.

2. Pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.

3. I guess they should be able to read a road map, too.

4. Pilots should be brave so they won't get scared it it's foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off.

5. Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the clouds, and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are.

6. The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with (yeah right!). This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots don't because they know how easy it is.

7. I hope I don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick, I couldn't be a pilot and then I would have to go to work.

Green On! Go!

It is 16 July 2007 today and the day has a surreal feeling to it. It is like Déjà vécu, a feeling of having been there before.

... ... ...

I'm standing in the aft portion of the aircraft with the ramp wide open. The world is looking bedazzling with a million tiny lights shining up the night sky.

The cold high altitude wind is piercing into my skin as the Jumpmaster signals to me to get ready. I have a quick look over my weapons, assure myself that my parachute pack along with the reserve chute is in place, recheck my chord-line and have a quick inspection through my gear. Fully loaded and armed to the teeth.

The light goes green and the Jumpmaster nods to me in the semi-lit darkness of the aircraft cabin. After returning the Jumpmasters salute, I dive out into the dark sky. It is a cold dark night. My last mission and I have a silent prayer on my lips for successful completion without any casualties.

The air is chillingly cold but refreshing at the same time. I am speeding down to terra firma at a gut wrenching speed under the force of gravity. Under normal conditions and without the killing weight of my gear bogging me down, I would have loved doing a couple of somersaults in the air. But tonight, I have a mission to accomplish. I'll save the aerial acrobatics for some other day.

As my eyes get accustomed to the darkness around me, I scan the skies for my boys who have tumbled out from the aircraft after me. After counting the number of dark bodies, I grunt a satisfactory approval to myself. I take a look at my wrist altimeter and count down the thousands of feet left before I deploy my parachute. I cross check the topographic features around me and do some quick mental calculations to find if we have strayed off course.

By now I can see the Drop Zone (DZ) and I'm relieved because we all are headed in the right direction. Adrenaline is fast pumping into my system as I go through all the worst case scenarios in my mind. The biggest mistake one can do is not to foresee tragedy and be ill prepared for it.

I take another look at my wrist altimeter and realise that I'm seconds away from the threshold. I put my hands on the D-ring and after counting down the remaining feet, I tug open my parachute at the designated altitude.

The parachute opens up beautifully and I look up to check if it’s deployed correctly. A few light tugs at my rip chord and I manoeuvre myself towards the DZ. I break the parachute slightly to reduce my speed and touch down for a perfect landing.

I collect my parachute and dig a hole in the ground to bury it. My boys have started landing and we are lucky enough not to have any broken bones amidst us tonight. After ensuring that all the parachutes have been taken care of, we fan out across the DZ and take up position so as to command a dominating line of fire.

Daylight is hours away and a gentle breeze has picked up. It is all peaceful and quiet and had it not been for my weapon and my boys around me, I would have been under the illusion that I'm on a vacation up there in the hills. It is a dreamlike situation, a trance so serene that for a second I allow myself to believe that I'm there not on business but on pleasure. I can’t remember the last time I went home on leave.

All of a sudden, my left flank opens up and I can hear the staccato firing piercing the stillness of the night. Whoosh! A Carl Gustav fires from my right side and then all at once, our weapons have opened fire. A shell lands a few hundred feet before us, splinters flying thick and fast and then all hell breaks loose... ... ...

... ... ...

I come back to life! I am still my own self but in a different place. The Déjà vécu has run its course and I'm back to reality.

The boom of the gunfire, the swoosh of the recoilless rifle and the thump of the mortar seem as if they are from a different time, a different world altogether. The smell of cordite and the yelling shouts are a thing of the past. No more accumulation of bile during long marches, no more fatigue and exhaustion from endless fire-fights and no need to be on my guard relentlessly day after day. No more blood curdling cries from guys whom I don’t know but who want to kill me, no more frustration at finding that the rifle spring has melted after non stop firing, no more jamming of the breech block and no more heart rendering moans from guys whose life is ebbing away.

That was then. Now, the air-conditioned environs help me keep my cool and I don’t get the stinging feeling of sweat trickling down into my eyes. The wall to wall carpeting and the perfume candles add an enchanting hue to the place where I work. It is a far cry from the maddening fields where I transitioned from boyhood to becoming a man.

I have started upon a new phase in life where I feel everybody is pretending to be overfriendly and nice. I don't like this place but then, as we say 'Its not for us to reason why, we are here just to do or die'. I miss my boys, miss their josh and joie de vivre. The battlefield is gone and my eyes are looking towards the boardroom. One day, I shall be there. As my CO said before I left "Go, become a Corporate Mogul".

The lights have gone green again but I don’t have to check my parachute gear this time. I just put my feet on the accelerator pedal and zoom towards my destination.

The journey has just begun.