The Beast

We drink, we fight
And sometimes we dope;
Once on the run
We never stop.

We relish mutton, pork, beef
And also prefer snakes and dogs.
If you dare
We might even go for your peacock.

We got the best girls
And they are Hot!
The guys are cool
And we never miss our shot.

Don't mess with us,
We might do bad;
If you must know
Our fist spells death.

We rule and we are
The Devils from the sky;
Don't mess with us because we are
Worse than Vipers crest.

Mess with the Best

Die like the rest!

*

Petit Méchoui. That's what we call it in French and I am referring to the picture above. Ok fine, you don't know French but hey, if I translate the word then I can bet that people will start fleeing away. Don't believe me? Here goes...

It was one of those lovely salubrious days with good easterly winds and a hint of rains in the atmosphere. We had a long day climbing down from the mountains and were too damn hungry.

After discussing (at length) what to do, we decided to go catch some snakes. But then, as they say, the slimy creatures were nowhere to be seen and our hunger had hit the roof. Somebody suggested 'Méchoui' and we were a little lost because it was nowhere to be seen.

Oh shucks, I forgot, you don't know French. Fine, Méchoui is Sheep and tastes very yummy though not as good as snakes but as I said before, the crawlies were nowhere to be found.

Anyway, we found out some nice sheep for ourselves, had it skinned and cleaned and started a nice charcoal fire. Once the marination was done and the Barbecue pit was nicely stretched out, the sheep was mounted on the skewers and slowly turned on a shallow fire.

I ain't much of a Chef and my culinary skills are normally restricted to savouring the delicacies and so to cut a long story short, the sheep that we had was very juicy, nicely done and yummy to the core. Lemme know if you want our 'secret' recipe, its worth the taste!

Together - You and Me.

Here I am sitting with my best ink and paper

I have a feeling I am thinking, I am peeping deeper.

Is this the way I wanted my life to be

Is this where my destiny had to take me?

Sometimes in life things do happen

Happenstance by chance, things going dapper.

Deeper than water, bluer than the sky

Good things do happen and so be the eager Beaver.

I have a heap of questions

I have a clump of notions...

Love, hate, relationships, illusions, reality matrix

But some things happen that I can never fix.

O! What is a heap of questions?

It can never be bigger than a mouthful of sky.

And what about the clump of notions?

It can never be larger than the Zephyr.

Love the good, hate the bad,

Relationships happen, illusions become snappier

Reality is a fix, the big seated matrix

Many things happen, why should you get fixed?

These words mean so much to me,

Never have I been answered with such an unanimity.

I am now in love with the mouthful of sky,

The relationships, the illusions, the notions.

I feel those words reflect me, my self, my unexplored me.

A new dimension these words have given me

And now I want to feel them till my core and

Understand me.

*

17 Jul 2007

1935 Hrs

It was another of those random monotonous days when boredom hits the ceiling and leaves you high and dry. I was sitting and talking with Minki who is the sweetest of all my friends.

The AC was at full blast, we had created a frigid zone at the place we were in and having exhausted all options to kill time, we hit upon a brilliant idea. Minki and I decided to start writing something, anything. As long as we got to kill time, we didn't care a damn about what we could conjure up.

And so, up we grabbed our pen and paper and let our grey cell's do the thinking. We decided to write a poem, one paragraph at a time. Minki expresses herself in very creative ways and I asked her to set the ball rolling and then I followed suit.

Apart from all the crazy lil' things that we do, I love Minki for one thing - it was because of her that I explored a totally new area. Sharing one's thoughts and matching them with another's expression and coming out with some creative streaks sure is a herculean task.

Thought this poem was our first collaborative effort, it certainly isn't our last. We have also written a nice sweet story set in the blue waters of an Indian Ocean island and the last word written saw us swimming in the crystal clear ocean water.

Yeah I know you're reading this Sheryl and trust me, even Minki had been talking about getting you back over here.

Humour Across the Border

True story from the 1965 India-Pakistan War

Khalsa troops posted near the border had hung their Kaccha's and Baniyaans on a barbed wire running along the perimeter of their post. It is a usual practice to fence off a minefield with barbed wire so that accidents can be averted but in this case the wires had been erected by the Khalsa troops just for the purpose of drying clothes.

Funnily though, an advancing column of Pakistani tanks thought otherwise and assumed it was a ploy on part of the Indians to make them think it was not a minefield. As a result, the Pakistanis made use of their 'brilliant' tactics and applied their ever so superior tactical minds and changed their axis of advance. Consequently, they wound up in the actual minefields located on the sides of the post and the entire Pakistani armoured thrust came to a screeching halt.

So, in this fight between the Kaccha's and the Pakistani tanks, the Kaccha's saved the day! In fact, not only did the Kaccha's save the day but also helped the Khalsa troops to live another day and wear the Kaccha's again! Hehehe!

Khalsa Roulette

Khalsa troops caught a Pakistani soldier on our side of the fence.This Pakistani chap (the brave soldier that he was!) started pleading the Khalsas to let him go.

Khalsa: OK! We'll play a game. Take this dice and roll it. If you get 1,2,3,4 or 5 you'll die.

Pakistani: So if I get a 6, I'll live and you'll set me free?

Khalsa: No! In that case, you roll again!

What a Pakistani Does Best!

Two Pakistani Ranger's are driving around in their vehicle, looking for something to blow up with their G-3 rifles and 9mm pistols. They are just having a regular good time listening to some crappy songs and cursing their CO when all of a sudden they see this goat with it's head stuck in a fence.

Paki-1, being the Johnny-on-the-spot, jumps out of the vehicle, drops his trousers, and, well, you know, does what a Pakistani does best.

After the initial "josh" wears off, Paki-1 looks back and realizes he's been ignoring his best friend. So he looks over his shoulder and says, "Hey! You want some of this too?"

Paki-2 is thrilled - he can barely believe his good luck. "Yeah, sure!" Excitedly, he quickly jumps out of the truck, drops his trousers, and sticks his head in the fence!

Pakistanis and Female Donkey

This scene is set sometime during the Kargil war near the Line of Control in PoK (Pakistan occupied Kashmir).

A senior Pakistani Army General decides to go to a front-line village and inspect his troops. When he arrives in the village, he is very surprised to find a female donkey in the camp.

"Lahole-villa-Kuvat," he yells, "Why is there a female donkey in this battle field?"

"Well," the Pakistani soldiers answer with embarrassment, "The Indians are bombing this place since several weeks, and all the village girls are gone. So, uh, when we need women, we only have this donkey to... ... ..."

"Fucking hell!" the General angrily interrupts the soldiers, "We are the great Pakistani Army! How could you do such disgraceful things?! I don't want to see this donkey around anymore!"

So the Pakistani soldiers chase the female donkey away. In order to strengthen the discipline and keep an eye on his soldiers, the Pakistani General decides to stay in the village and commands the operations.

And the Kargil war goes on...

After a couple of weeks, the General starts to feel the need of ... !

"Well," he thinks, "My soldiers may be right. Life is tough here without sex especially under such a heavy Indian shelling!! After all, a female donkey is better than nothing...". So he orders his soldiers to find the donkey back.

Once Pakistani soldiers bring back the donkey, the General jumps out of his office, unzips his pants, stands behind the donkey and starts to F*ck the animal.

When he finishes and feels finally released, he notices that hundreds of soldiers - amazed and stunned - are looking at him with big eyes.

"Come on, guys," the Pakistani General says, "Don't look at me like that. Isn't it the way you all have been doing before?"

"No, Sir", answer the Pakistani soldiers, "Before, we used to ride this donkey and find women in the next village."

The Train Ride

An Indian chap and his pregnant wife were traveling on the TGV in France. A few Pakistan Army officers were also traveling in the same compartment.

As every body knows, the Pakistanis think they are a little too smart and also try to show their superiority in all aspects, and so they tried to act little smart and embarrass the Indian. They thought at the same time, it would be a good way to pass time too.

So, one of them went and sat beside the man.

The 'Smart' Pakistani officer asked the man, "Are you an Indian?".

"Yes", our chap replied proudly.

The officer then said, "Is your wife pregnant?".

"Yes", replied the man. He was a bit annoyed by the question as it was obviously visible that his wife was pregnant and the officer still asked that question. But he kept quiet.

Now, the Pakistani officer thought it was time to have some fun.

He asked the Indian, "If it is a boy, what would you like him to be?????"

"I'd make him a Software Engineer", the man said proudly.

"What if it is a girl?" asked the Pakistani officer.

"I'd make her a doctor", the man replied.

Now, the Pakistani officer gave the man a naughty grin and said, "What if it is neither a boy nor a girl?"

The smart Indian realized the whole point of this officer speaking to him. He realized that these Pakistani Army officers were trying to embarrass him so he decided to give it back to them.

The Indian chap thought for a second, returned the same naughty smile back to the Pakistani officer and said,"In that case, he will join the Pakistan Army!"

The Good Humoured Soldier!

Time Check

During his peace tenure, a seasoned Para Colonel found himself at a gala event at a posh hotel. There was no shortage of extremely attractive, idealistic young women in attendance. One of them approached the Colonel.

"Excuse me sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time? Or is there something that's bothering you?"

"No, I'm just serious by nature."

Looking over the colonel's ribbons, the young lady said, "You seem to have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, a lot of action," said the Colonel rather curtly.

Finding it hard work trying to start a conversation with the colonel, the young woman said, "You know, you should lighten up a little . . . relax and enjoy yourself."

This didn't seem to move the Colonel, who just looked at her very seriously. Exasperated, the woman said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

The Colonel replied back, "1955".

"Well no wonder you're the way you are! You really need to chill out a little and quit taking everything so seriously. I mean, no sex since 1955 is a little extreme!"

"I don't think so, it's only 2130 now!" the Colonel said.

Exercise

Annual exercies in Army are quite a boring affair. Hitting dummy targets, killing dummy soldiers, negotiating dummy obstacles and blah blah blah. The Referees and Umpires act like very very tough school teachers.

Once during a Corps level excercise in Thar, two Referees were watching a Brigade crossing a river (ofcourse a dummy one).Then they saw one infantry column crossing the river but not using the bridge. Technically speaking the infantry chaps were crossing the river on foot.

Immediately the Referees jumped in their Jonga and sped towards the erring column. Upon reaching near to them they saw the leading person carrying a placard stating "Hum Tair Rahe Hain" (We are swimming)!

GC Capers

A GC filled Army Aviation as his choice during the choice of arms. When told that he cannot directly join Army Aviation and has to give some other option, he opted for AAD.

His reasoning - 'IF I CANNOT FLY, NOBODY WILL FLY!'

The Owl

The "Owls" are quite a famous lot in the Armed Forces. These are the Staff College qualified chaps and there are many jokes floating around about them. Here are some...

Op Discussion
During one of the serious discussions on the tactics for attack, the Corps Cdr asked one of the bright looking Owl's...

Corps Cdr: CO, tell me whats your plan of action and how do you wish to capture the post?
CO: Sir, its very simple - two of my Coy's will advance, one from the right flank and the other will give fire support .
Corps Cdr: How much time do you think it will take to capture the post?
CO : Sir not much , my boys are well trained and will be able to get them within 2 hrs.
Corps Cdr: Two hours? Are you joking my friend?
CO : Nope Sir, we'll take about 30 mins to reach the target. It is clearly evident for the enlargement, as the crow flies, the disance from the the FUP is hardly 900mtrs and can easily be covered in 30 mins, and rest one and half hrs for capturing the enemy post.
Corps Cdr: My friend I appreciate that you made your judgement about the distance from the enlargement. But, you forgot about the ground realities. Well if I am not wrong it will take u atleast 36 hrs to capture that post as "AT THIS ALTITUDE NOT EVEN THE CROW FLIES"!

The Poster

One of the most famous posters in the military depicts a road leading to a glacier. By the side of the road is a big board which reads...

NO PSC OFFICERS ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT - ACTUAL WAR IN PROGRESS!

Voyage d'aventure Fini

It has been a real long time since I last posted anything on my Blog and frankly speaking, I am little lost as to what to write as there are way too many things going on in my mind right now. Mixed reactions all. LOL!

The past few months have been real exciting and full of adventure for me. Though I could not execute all my adventure plans (due to a variety of factors such as weather conditions, money...hehehe) I certainly had an amazing time. As always, I came across things which brought a smile on my lips, saw something that endeared itself to me, met up with awesome people (and some not so awesome one's too) and discovered a little bit more of this mighty world that we live in.

Sunrise is always exciting as it brings forth the promise of a new day, a new beginning. Sunset on the other hand is associated with a certain degree of mistrust as it is the harbinger of the oncoming darkness. I for one don't believe in any such assumption because for me every sunrise is the promise of a new adventure and every sunset guarantees me a few wonderful hours whence I can check out the bright stars, the shiny planets and the reflection off the Strobe lights of the high flying aircraft's.

The voyage of adventure upon which I had started off in January has now come to an end and I am finally back on terra firma with no more shaky ground to tread upon, no more rocky mountains to climb, no more snake infested jungles to cross and not wanting to chalk out a routine so that I could enjoy the surprise of a new adventure each day.

These past few months have also seen quite a few things crop up, some pleasant and some not so pleasant. Life however goes on.

I am an intrepid adventurer, love travelling to the unknown and taking a walk to the back of beyond. As Nicholas Hulot used to say in Ushuaïa, le magazine de l'Extrême... "Let the adventure begin!"

NB: And for all the curious one's who managed to see the photograph in full zoom, yeah, that's a TomCat flying towards a darkening horizon. Super Sexy!