There She Goes...

It all starts here...at the wheels

Next comes the Engine...

Then we add on the fuselage & get onto a dream...

And then finally, we reach out for the stars!

Ushuaiah, the journey begins!

Sky Unlimited

Soft grey clouds interspersed with wafts of cotton white enveloping the sky and making patterns of varying hues on the surface of water. Land sizzling high, water splashing wild and the clouds wafting languorously across the sky. Picture perfect, just the way an ace photographer would have liked to have in order to capture the scenic beauty of this world.

The things that we take for granted the most are the ones around us that help us overcome obstacles, keep our sanity intact and give us a reason to smile. We all are humans and with due apologies to Mr Julius Cesar, I would like to rephrase his oft repeated quote by saying that it is for us humans to err and then make that mistake all over again. My post (Storm & Petals II) is a living testament to this.

Anyway, this post is not on Storm & Petals because that's something which happened in my past. What is now more important for me is to live the present and construct something good for the future. Call it a noble mission or anything else, I am secure in the knowledge that there are a few good men and one less woman to help me out. However, this is not about them but about somebody about whom I have never spoken before.

Have you ever experienced the thrill of riding out a storm, the ecstasy of conquering blinding snow and a terrible blizzard or the euphoria of having tamed a tempest? Have you ever come across a toughened soldier or met a seasoned sailor or maybe came face to face with an aviator who has seen it all while throttling down to earth from high up in the sky? For once try and unhinge your mind from the vagaries of daily life and think about the most beautiful thing that you have experienced in your life so far. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, imagine yourself standing on some lofty peak with the pure mountain air filling your lungs. What do you see? A dream, right?

I am no Paulo Coehlo yet, I know the power of dreams. I firmly believe that dreams are the stepping stones to reality. There is nothing wrong in dreaming, no matter how big or audacious our goal, it is always a good idea to dream. However, we must always be rooted to reality or else we will lose control over who we are.

This post is dedicated to a friend of mine who almost scuttled her dreams once. Something had shattered her, a broken remnant of her past which haunted her no end. But the will-power to overcome obstacles and human endurance finally paid off. My friend is back on track, back to the azure blue sky she loved watching, back to the clouds she loves flying through, back to the stars which she one day wants to touch.

Never stop dreaming my friend because dreams will one day take us to the final fantasy. The endless Space beckons us all. Viva le ciel!

Storm & Petals II

The picture that you see above is that of a Hawker Tempest Mk. V. Made in the heydays of the second world war, the Tempest was in service with the RAF.

It indeed is a Tempest that I find myself in right now. Never thought that such a thing would ever be possible. I was naive enough to believe whatever was said. I should have been more prudent in approach & shouldn't have taken everything at face value.

Have you had the chance to read Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken? The poem starts beautifully with...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

The poem is as much an assertion of individualism as it is a scathing mockery of people who are perennially hesitant to walk the right path. The best part in the poem is in the last stanza wherein Robert Frost says...

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Something sure has made all the difference, something that never occured to me before. I'm still finding it weird to realise that I went along with it all these days. Feelings, emotions, the time spent together, the things shared between us, the said, the unsaid, the felt and the understood. Was it all a lie? Was it nothing more than a play of words? No matter how much I try and be rational over here, it just doesn't add up.

It feels as if suddenly something has become disjointed from you. The abruptness of it all has certainly taken me by surprise. Maybe it was my fault that I didnt read the signals along the way. When I look back, there were things, blaring and screaming at me. I knew them also but everytime I tried discussing them, it was brushed aside. And then yesterday, the whole thing blew up.

Looking at it right now, I can make out that it wasn't abrupt at all. It was a very gradual yet secretive thing that build up over the past few months. And like a fool I had blinkers on my eyes and was made to feel as if things are going in the right direction. Yeah, right direction it sure is but on a different path. Like Robert Frost, I have always travelled the road less travelled but this time I wanted to do something more common. Probably it was intentional that I was pushed onto it this time around.

Are you wondering why I'm writing all this? To be honest, even I don't know. Probably because I never expected this to happen, atleast not this way. It would be an understatement if I say that I'm feeling cheated and made fun of. And to think of, all this had been happening for quite some time. Probably I'm writing this because I don't know what else to do or whom to share this with. My life is an open book but this will go down with me to my grave. Apart from me, there is only one other person who knows this.

We always take for granted what is around us. So this mean that I also do something drastic like a majority of the people normally do? No, I refuse to be bound to customs and traditions.

Does this change anything for me? Yes and No. Yes, it sure has hurt me like hell but No, I won't let this bog me down. Life still continues, doesn't it?

Coming back to the Tempest about which I spoke in the beginning of this post, the last couple of months I'd got settled into my own comfort zone. Never in my life had I ever got into one because I've always known the negative fallout of being in a comfort zone. The day you get into your comfort zone, you become careless and lackadaisical in life. Nothing could be more dangerous than getting into a situation that will throw you into danger.

But this time, I allowed myself to sit back, threw all cautions to the wind and enjoyed the short comfortable stay. No more, never again. Yet again, I've learned one of the biggest lessons of life through a small yet very significant event.

Enough of the problem definition I guess. What about the solution? Simple, I've already put this behind me. I've phenomenol tolerance for such unpleasant surprises that life sometimes throws up at you. For me this event has already paled away into insignificance.

Did this entire thing change me? I guess not, I hate losing my originality. I'll now be more cautious about what happens around me. Enjoy, I will. Fun, I always have. The only thing that is different is that henceforth, it'll be difficult for me to enjoy the good old things in the same manner. In corporate jargon they call it Opportunity Cost.

As always, I don't have any regret nor do I harbour any hurt feelings. Just a wish that Storm & Petals (http://zephyrinsky.blogspot.com/2007/10/storm-petals.html) hadn't withered away like this.

The letters never got replied back or even acknowledged. The SMSes stopped coming long time back. The phone calls have already stopped, infact the cell has not rung in the past 72 Hrs. I'm still at a loss as to whether the innocence and freshness of being somebody's best friend also died an unnatural death.

2007 is coming to a close but this is not the way I wanted to celebrate New Years Eve this time. Nobody wants to be sad while celebrations are happening dime a dozen around you. But oh, what the heck, life goes on. As B*witched sang long ago, 'C'est la vie!'.

Les amis à jamais

She is back. Back with a bang!

It was yesterday when the wheels of change started turning again. She walked in from the main gate, straight down the foyer & into my arms. Sounds way too filmy but thats how it was.

I was talking to a friend over dinner when I sensed her coming to me. I didnt even have to turn back to know that she was there. I knew it. It was in the air. I excused myself from my friend, turned around, my arms automatically opened up, I offered my hand to congratulate her (she'd just done something very big in life) & in less than what it takes you to blink your eyes I found ourselves hugging each other. I am not lying but this was the best embrace that I've had in my life so far. Nothing else mattered to me at that instant, everything around us faded away to obscurity.

She is back & things are back to normal. I always knew (http://zephyrinsky.blogspot.com/2007/09/band-of-brothers-spirit-of-friendship.html) that one day we'll get back together, it was just a question of time.

It feels great to have you back buddy. I know that we've missed out on many things over these past few months but hey, we can always catch up.

Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Boeing & finally Arianespace! They all are up for grabs.

Welcome back!

High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark, or even eagle flew -

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

+++

Flying has been the mantra of life for pilots since the dawn of aviation. High Flight is a tribute to those special people known as Aviators who break free from the shackles of this earth & fly away to the blue sky.

Everytime I read this poem, it sends a tingling sensation down my spine. It strikes a chord deep within me & makes me yearn to strap up the harness, close the canopy & take off to touch the sky.

Sky - its a different world to be in. Flying is not a passion, its not a religion, its not an obsession. Flying is life! Everything else pales into insignificance.

I Dream Tomorrow

Tomorrow as you open your eyes

And wake up into a new lit dawn,

There you will stand audacious and bold

To lay down an epic never before told.

And as on the steps you proceed staunchly

Leaving behind all your languish willingly,

The world will linger upon you and extol

As if you were an occultous doll.

Once again you'll remember those torrid days

In which you toiled on barren bays,

Labouring morning and noon incessantly

Untill you comandeered and decimated successfully.

At once you go back into that long awaited eulogy

And like a maelstrom euphoria touched thee,

Your efficacy in the battle did not go waste

'cause paid you is a holocaust - so FULMINATE!

+ + +

This is for my best friend from yesteryears with whom I've shared some of the best moments of my life. She was and still remains one of the most gifted persons I've met in my life so far.

Rock on girl, way to go buddy!

Once We Were Warriors

...Continuation of Green On! Go!

I'm not emotionally affected by what happened. I certainly dont have nightmares. We are big boys & we know the rules we play by. We've all been close to death. You accept it. You dont want it to happen, of course, but sometimes, there you go - occupational hazard.

In a strange way I'm almost glad I went through the experience. I wouldnt like to repeat it, but I'm glad that it happened.

Some things, however, will live with me for ever.

The crash of a bolt.

The boom of gunfire.

The smell of burning flesh.

The suffocation of an acrid smoke.

The rattle of rounds falling all around you.

From all this I've learned that nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Things that might have bothered me in the past are less likely to now - sparkling wine spilling over my crisply pressed clothes, the car not starting when I'm in a hurry, something valuable getting lost, my laptop breaking up after falling from a height. I know my limitations better now, yet I feel more positive & self assured. I no longer take anything for granted. I appreciate simple, everyday things much more; instead of spending a bomb on getting my laptop repaired, I'll make do without it. I'm not attached to anything in this world.

As to the rights & wrongs of the war - well, thats never been a worry to me. I was a soldier, thats what I was paid for. It was very exciting, I got high doing it.

And as for the people who were lobbing shells over my gang, if I meet any of them in the street tomorrow, either here in India or the United States of Honolulu or wherever, & they think that they will get away with it, well, I'll slot them & rip them apart from spleen to spine in one go.

Alea jacta est, the Rubicon has been crossed!

Diwali - The Festival of Lights

Its Diwali today. One of the most quintessential of all Indian festivals, Diwali is the celebration of light and symbolises the importance of living a vibrant life.

India looks decked up like a Queen during Diwali time. Roads, streets, shops, homes everything is adorned with shining electric lights that add a totally different hue to the place. Busy thoroughfares through the city turn into a veritable feast for the eyes due to the multitude of colours that adorn the way. People put in a lot of time and effort to clean their areas, put shiny new lights around and wait for Goddess Lakshmi to bless them with her presence. In Hindu mythology, Lakshmi is the Goddess of wealth and prosperity and almost all Indians look forward to enjoying her blessing during this period.

This time during Diwali, I decided to do something different. Instead of blowing up a few thousand bucks on firecrackers and polluting the environment and lead to high decibel levels, I decided to spend my time with a few special people, soldiers of the Indian Armed Forces who'd lost their limbs or arms or both during the course of duty.

It was an emotional experience for me to be amidst these brave guys. Even though they had had lost a part of their body, their spirit was indomitable. Having given their best to the nation and to their unit, these guys showed the steadfast resoluteness to bash on regardless in life. Come inclement weather, loss of limb or arm, these guys were ready to brave any storm. A majority of these soldiers had lost their appendages in J&K where we are fighting a proxy way. In military parlance we call it Low Intensity Conflict / Counter Insurgency Operations. There were a few casualties from the North East also. Additionally there were a few paramilitary chaps who were involved in anti Naxalite operations in the hinterlands of India.

It felt really good to have spent time with these brave people. Not even once did I feel that they were any different than me. The typical fauji mood prevailed everywhere. There was a light hearted banter going on, a corny joke was being shared somewhere, somebody was using the very colourful fauji lingua franca with finesse while someplace else chaps were planning out things for the weekend.

People in the swish civvy streets have always asked me what faujis do when there is no war going on. It is very difficult for them to understand why we need to have a military even when we are not fighting a war. For these people, it is an alien proposition to understand how someone can be given a salary without being given a sales target for the month or for a quarter. Everybody is not money minded or profit driven but who will explain it to these people.

When I go home, people ask me, "Hey you, why do you do it man? Are you some kind of a war junkie?". I wont say a God damn word. Why? They wont understand, they wont understand a God damn word as to why we do it. Its about the men next to you. That’s it, that’s all that it is.

People think that we fight a war because we want to be heroes. No. Nobody wants to be a hero. It just sometimes turns out that way. Somebody has to do the job, somebody has to get their hands bloodied.

Soldiers are not taught to sacrifice their life for the country. Rather, they are trained to kill the B@$&@^] on the other side of the trench. A soldier doesn’t feel himself any superior to his civilian counterpart. That’s a wrong notion carried by people outside the uniformed services. A soldier, by virtue of his training and the regimented discipline that is ingrained into his psyche knows that he is supposed to carry out his duty without fail.

At the end of the day, its all about belonging to the Brotherhood of Hero’s...soldiers carry out their allotted tasks and many a times go beyond the call of duty. This is what makes soldiers different from the people outside the armed forces, maybe this is what makes them special.

It was with such people that I spent my Diwali this year and more than I making them smile, they touched my life in a very special way.

Voiceless Chayos

Voiceless..I am

Violent my smiles are

Silent my tears are..

But........I speak..

Through my eyes...

My face glows.......

Whole body sings...

When you harp....

Melody.....

Fills my soul...

With your touch...

You have to look at me

To listen it

You have to look at me

To read me

You have to look at me

To know me

I'm not nameless

I'm not stranger

I'm not lifeless

Voiceless....

Only I am

........................................

Voiceless to unknown.

She Is...

A face so pretty

A face so bright,

She can light up

Even the darkest of all nights.

A scent so sweet

A scent so divine,

She can gently turn you on

With her fragrance wafting high.

A presence so electrifying

A presence so desired,

She can make you want her

For a lifetime's serenade.

A walk through the forest

A journey through night,

Wish she was near

Never out of sight.

Flying over the horizon

Across the coast glinting bright,

Soaking in the moment forever

Never wanting to let her go off sight.

A slowly rising melody

A tune that is right,

An epitome of beauty

She is a wonderful sight!

She is... ... ...

+++

This is for the one who started it all.

Not so long ago, I was at Oberoi Towers next to the NCPA in Bombay. A gentleman was playing the western classical piano in the hotel lobby & I just couldn't resist myself from walking up to him and listening to the wonderful tunes he was playing. He treated me to a veritable fare that included everything from Bach to Mozart to Beethoven and finally wrapped up with John Denver.

Annie's Song is an awesome composition. If you haven't heard it, go & get yourself a CD. Trust me, it'll make a difference to you in your life. All you need to do is find yourself a comfortable place to sit in (my favourite being the Bean Bag in my bedroom or the leather couch in the living room), draw the shades, switch off all lights, cell-phones and rest all distractions. Sit back, close your eyes & let John Denver take you through an ethereal journey.

Annie's Song has a special significance for me. It always induces a bittersweet memory in me. It is like a pain that is both sublime yet very powerful. Some people like it while some don't. But whatever you do, you can't ignore it. The song brings out the best & the worst of human emotions within us. For some it is a catharitic exprience everytime they hear the song while some get the most virtiolic of all emotions when they listen to Annie's Song.

As for the one who started it all, well, words are not sufficient to describe her. Have you ever seen a person enter a room and brighten it up with her smile? Have you ever experienced somebody's presence who can liven up the atmosphere in & around? Well if you haven't then my friend, you ought to be in love, not with just a person but with an existence.

The Lady here will always be an Enigma & I prefer it that way because, she is not ordinary.

She Is... ... ...