The MachiNoid

It has been close to 5 years since I transitioned from the 'Uniform' to the crisp corporate suits, almost half a decade of having switched over from the hot and smokey cockpits reeking with the stench of fumes and sweat to the  air conditioned offices with Air Fresheners kept at every corner.

First time in the Boardroom was quite an experience for me. The long tables with polished surfaces, top of the line video link with acoustic system, huge bay windows, plush upholstery and the best in the world lighting mechanism. Though the novelty and awe of the Boardroom has weaned off over the years, it doesn't fail to inspire me even today. The Boardroom is the modern day avatar of the 'Kings Inner Circle' from times past and it is here that all crucial decisions are taken and strategies crafted to beat the hell out of competition.

Sometimes certain things crop up at the most unexpected time, when you least expect it, when you never thought of it. Yesterday was one such moment.

It was yesterday that we were having a very seminal discussion and the meeting lasted late into the night. The situation was pretty grim we had entered an impasse. There was no way we could have moved forward without rolling over this one particular issue affecting us; the issue of lack of time.

There are only 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, 365 days in a year. We have been going through an acute crunch season the last 8 months and doing 18 hours a day, everyday through the week and month after month has still not been sufficient. Our biological clocks have gone haywire, our mind goes into a tail spin, our bodies start slacking off and the regular cogent features go numb. Yet, we persevered, we overcame all the odds, fought the adversities and came out on top. We were asked to do more and we happily did and will continue doing so in the larger interest of the organization.

There is no doubt in our minds that when something needs to be done, it must be done. We don't wait for the push to come to a shove, we go and preempt the situation. However, this time, there was a catch. Out of all the mind boggling tasks we do day to day, of all the painful number crunching we go through, of all the analysis we churn out, out of all the near impossibilities we turn around to success stories, we were asked to take an impossible responsibility upon us and flag it off to the success line.

My boss and my super boss refused to bite the bullet!

I admire and respect my boss even more than what I used to do earlier because she stood up for me and told people that they should not impose such impossible conditions on us. Of all the people present in the Board Room, she took my name and explained the pain through which I have gone through the last 8 months. 18 hour days stretching back to back, no weekends, no holidays, no time to sleep, no time to rest, no time to socialize, no time to breath. I had seen this before but for the first time, her concern was magnified and apparent to everyone present. Somewhere deep within I felt a wave of happiness sweep over me. At that moment, she became my 'Saviour', my 'Hero'. But, this was not the end of it.

Next up was my super boss. He again pointed out my example and put it on the table that he felt tremendous pain every time he saw me grind myself to exhaustion for getting the work done while chasing inhuman deadlines. And mind you, this had not happened over a week or a month but over a full fledged 8 month long period which is still not over yet.

There was pin drop silence. Nobody moved. People went into silent mode. I turned around and saw a lot of my colleagues who felt the same pain, who had undergone the same anguish and turmoil with me all these crazy 8 months.

Someone stirred in his seat and we realized what we had let ourselves become. We had, over the course of a few months, allowed ourselves to become Robots. We had become machines that deftly churned out one thing after another. We had lost our innocence, we had lost touch with our humane side, we had forgotten to smile, forgotten to relax, forgotten to rest. We had become MachiNoid's - half machine, half humanoid.

Through the painful passage of the past 8 months, of all the trials and tribulations we passed through as a team, we succeeded in achieving all our goals and came out the winners in the tough competitive landscape. However, this came at a great personal loss for me, a loss that can never be reclaimed. The pain is intense and there has been no closure also. And this is what has made the situation even more acute.

She left! Five long years and she went away with neither a rhyme nor any reason. No aurevoirs or adieus!

However, I have no regrets whatsoever. I did everything to salvage the situation and in fact can confidently say that I did much much more than anybody can or will ever do.

I wish her luck but I know for sure that she will never have it so good ever again. I at least came out with flying colours while she didn't stand the test of time.

I guess turning into a MachiNoid was worth it.

10 - Love. Game over!